Your Dream Birth: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself

Let’s talk about your dream birth.

Do you feel like you can talk to your provider about what you REALLY want for your birth? So often, any discussion about a birth plan is prefaced by the phrase, “…but you know, these are just preferences because things don’t always go according to plan.” Of course, things sometimes don’t go as planned in birth. I think that most birthing families are acutely aware that things can turn in unexpected ways. Everyone loves to tell their birth horror stories.

Many people say that a birth plan is “just a plan.” Firstly, this phrase is often said to suggest that you give up asking for what you desire. Secondly, this a phrase used to assert control over a birthing person. Also, it’s a way our patriarchal culture encourages women and birthing families to stop asking for what they really want and need.

Of course you know it’s just a plan or a vision. In American culture, we are all well aware that things can go wrong in birth. It seems like that’s all we hear about. When we tell birthing families to give up the birth plan, it makes it easy to stop asking for what you want. It suggests that you are powerless in your birth. Also, it suggests that your desires aren’t likely to be heard.

I believe in you and your dream birth.

Families deserve the birth of their dreams. You have the power to plan your dream birth. As a birth doula, I support you in manifesting your dream birth. Whatever that may look like for you at the time. When challenges arise in birth, you will always have your guiding principles and vision to support your decision-making. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

Here are 3 important questions to consider when planning your dream birth:

  1. How do you want to feel? Consider what feelings you want to create in your birth experience. You can think about whether your dream birth is a quiet and focused experience, a loud and passionate celebration, or anything in between! Who can support you and help create this feeling? Also, consider whether your current situation is aligned with how you really want to feel.
  2. What do you need to know more about? Think about where you are at in your journey. What resources do you need? Do you need more information to support your choices? Who can help you find more information? What do you really want to ask your care provider?
  3. What do you really want this to look like? Really think about this one. What is it that you really truly want for your birth experience? Forget all the “what ifs” and simply let yourself envision it.

You can use these questions as a guide to get in touch with what you really want. Then, you can make a plan to turn this vision into reality. What do you really want for your birth?

Check out one of my favorite resources as you go through this process!

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